My Path To Follow
by JessieJess26
Summary: What held me was cold; incredibly cold, and though I looked up to find Edward's face staring out from behind me, I wished with all my heart that it was Jacob who had me wrapped in his arms…and his warmth.  Jacob x Bella  Rated M just in case.


**My Path to Follow**

* * *

><p><strong>All Bella's POV.<strong>

"Leah don't!" I heard Edward scream, but to no avail did Leah listen. She went after the newborn as fast as her legs would carry her. It would not be a positive outcome and even Jacob knew that. He rushed over to move Leah out of the way and took on the newborn himself. My heart was literally pounding through my chest and I could not bring myself to tear my eyes away from the scene before me.

The deafening silence within my mind was interrupted by the unremitting crushing sound of bones breaking. While my eyes looked on in shock at the horror before me, my body had already started walking towards him unconsciously. Jasper and Emmett ran to finish off the newborn while I continued my way towards Jacob. His human form had come forth and the screams of agony that came from him were laced with the beckoning of my name. It took no amount of thought; I was at his side in an instant.

"Jake, I'm right here." He could barely speak through the pain that overran his battered body. My hand brushed across his face and I could see the anguish behind his eyes. I looked around, aware that with the help of the pack, the Cullen's had finished off the newborn and were heading in our direction.

As I glanced back at Jacob, his bruised and broken body slickened with sweat; I realized that I could not lose him. He was the one thing in the world that held true, no matter what happened. He needed to know what I was thinking; he needed to see for himself what I felt. I was so close to him, intent on giving him news that would make his pain disappear, but just as quickly as I had made up my mind, I was yanked away from my very reason for living.

What held me was cold; incredibly cold, and though I looked up to find Edward's face staring out from behind me, I wished with all my heart that it was Jacob who had me wrapped in his arms…and his warmth.

His face never faltered, but my lips refused to move the moment I looked straight ahead and into the blood red eyes of Jane. The grin that was upon her face was upsetting, but there was something else there that made my heart stop completely. Her smile was bright as her hand was firmly pressed against the neck of Jacob…_my_ Jacob. With only half his body to work for him, it was a hopeless cause as Jane pushed him further into the ground, threatening to break his neck completely.

I wanted to run free; I needed to help Jacob. He was my everything, who had given me anything I wanted and more. I had to keep him in my life. All of this was because of me; this shouldn't be something he would be punished for.

"My my my Bella. You seem awfully upset about your dear little puppy here." Jane's voice was that of a child, but I knew the years of deceit it held within it. She pushed on Jacob's neck even harder; which only spurred the anger of the pack more. Though they wanted to jump in and help Jacob, Carlisle held a hand to stop them. He knew that the pack would never be able to take on Jane while her brother was here to help her.

"Please stop! Please! Take me instead!" I didn't care if it was a redundant position that I had once again put myself in; I needed to save Jacob's life. He had given too much to me to leave this world so young.

"Oh, but I thought our dear Edward here was the one you were willing to give up your life for." She looked at Edward, as did I. He was angry, but I couldn't tell what it was from exactly; only that it was directed at Jane. "Well then, perhaps we should test the theory of where your loyalties lie." She removed her hand from around Jacob's neck; leaving him gasping for any amount of air he could gather.

Just as soon as he had only taken one breath, his screams brought a new wave of panic over me. I knew what this was; I had seen it before and to this day, I still despised it. Her powers were like no other; a simple thought that could destroy a person completely.

Her smile never faltered as she brought another tirade of pain down on him. I tried, I really did; I tried my best to break free of Edwards hold, but he did not budge. He would not let me go to Jacob. I was forced to stand there and watch my best friend, quite possibly the love of my life, be tortured with insurmountable depths of pain.

The tears came and fell at a rapid pace. "Please, I'm begging you! Stop this!" She didn't. The pure torment that it caused me to watch this apparently awakened something within her as her torturous attempts led to more screams from Jacob. The pack was being pushed to their limits as they watched this all play out. Embry and Quil were ready to go after Jane, but even they somehow knew they would be slaughtered in an instant.

"Clearly you have chosen a new destiny Bella; one that does not include the deal you made with the Volturi. Need I remind you that the Volturi do not give second chances?" Every word she spoke meant nothing to me as I looked at the traumatized body of my best friend. He could not take much more of this and I'm sure everyone around me knew it as well.

"The date's been set." I tried to sound convincing enough, but my humanity was a flaw in the world of vampires.

"Is that so?" She paused for a moment, the evil grin returning as she looked down at Jacob. He was breathing harder than I had ever seen; his eyes half opening and closing. "Then killing this one should not matter to you, should it?" My reasons behind why I did not like that sentence were quickly revealed as she grabbed a hold of Jacob's crushed arm and lifted him up from the ground. His consciousness returned as pain-filled screams covered the surrounding area and filled our ears.

"No, please! Let him go! Please!" I was frantic, but it didn't matter; not as long as this torture of Jacob would stop.

"As I have stated before Bella, you are not above the Volturi. Not only have you not been turned, but cavorting with such filthy creatures as these will not be tolerated. A demand of a life is in place and this one…" Her eyes motioned towards Jacob. "…will be the price that is paid."

"No!" My screams went unanswered as she sunk her teeth into the neck of my Jacob and darted away with him, along with her brother, through the forest. Vociferous screams could be heard fading into the distance and I did not need to see a face to know that they belonged to Jacob.

In a blur, clothes were shredded about as the wolves gave chase to the fading figures; as did several of the Cullen's. I did not realize that Edward had long since disappeared from behind me and was replaced by Alice. My eyes still stared blankly at the path in which Jane had made her daring escape; my body frozen in a chilled moment of time.

"Jacob…"The only word my voice could bring forth as an impending darkness surrounded my vision; swallowing me whole.

* * *

><p>The Cullen's and wolves returned hours later…Jacob was not among them…<p>

* * *

><p>Insignificant days and weeks that followed that horrible day were filled with visions of what once was. Though I hesitated with letting anyone in on my secret mental state, I found that these visions brought comfort to me. Even now, as my fingers brushed along the edges of his work bench within his garage, I could clearly see him working under the hood of the car, pushing my hand away when I try to lend him my expertise. He's laughing now, telling me I'm <em>his<em> Bella and nothing will ever change that.

If only I had just given into him; just given him a single chance to show me the happiness that he guaranteed would come with my acceptance of his love. We would have been happy together; I knew this much, though my mind refused to believe it at the time.

There are other times when my mind gives into what Carlisle had told us so long ago. _"The wolves are not able to tolerate the venom within their system."_ My mind struggled with the memories. _"I'm sorry Bella, but there is no way that he will survive."_ They had all given up on him and the more the repetitious voices carried through my mind, the more I soon gave in as well.

The extent to which I allowed the voices to lead my life, held me to the promise of marrying Edward. I found that without meaning, without the sun to rise in my life again, I was left with few choices of any happiness. Though my feelings for Edward had long since passed, the need to force myself into a loveless eternity was atonement for what my decisions had done to Jacob. No one knew of the blame that I put on myself for what happened to him and I thought it best to keep it that way.

Rubbing circles around the ring that Edward placed on my finger brought me no solace, just an agony of waiting for my self-torture to begin…

* * *

><p>A year since I lost my whole world and the despondency is still within me. As Alice curls my hair, my beautiful vision of Jacob sits adjacent to me. He's looking at me with so much pain that I cannot bear to stare at his beauty for too long. I wished that he could be here; to take me away from the trouble that would follow behind what my mind has told me to do. He's placing a hand on my face and I can almost feel the warmth that would spread throughout my skin; heating me to my very core.<p>

In this moment I was thankful that Alice could only see what my mind has decided and not what my heart actually _wants._ Alice finishes with my hair and gives me a small hug before swiftly exiting the room; leaving me with a perfect vision of my sun.

I try my best to hold back the tears that threaten to overtake my eyes. His hand still rests on my face as his own tears fall; dropping with perfection upon my heart.

"I wish it was you Jake." Over and over again I tell him the words that I should have told him before. I speak to him of how every single moment spent with him, whether riding bikes or looking through junkyards, were moments that made me truly happy. They were moments that overshadowed the pain that Edward had left me in.

I was a masochist and by marrying Edward today, I would only prove it to the fullest extent.

* * *

><p>As Charlie held my hand outside the doorway of the ceremonial retreat, my eyes wandered around, hoping for a reason to not go through with this. It was something that I knew I deserved, but my heart wanted so badly for this day to be with another.<p>

My breath catches in my throat as another vision of Jacob appears to me, tucked away in the shadows of the gardens. My unsteadiness is given away and Charlie allows me moments to myself. This would be the last time I would hold on to the memory of my Jacob. Surely, after doing something so completely untrue, any ounce of his soul would leave me forever.

I make my way over to his vision, walking behind it, wordless in the effort to say what is needed. The center of the gardens is before us as he turns to look at me. What I see now is not the man I once knew; but a vision unlike any other. The glow of the sun fanning out over the gardens reveals his lightly glittered skin, but his eyes are shadowed. The fear of what they would show has us both locked in a stillness; neither moving at the mere chance that it would take away everything earned.

His head tilted upwards as my eyes gradually met his; knowing that my mind no longer held the hallucinations it once had. This was the man that I had chosen to love…too late. He stood before me with his perfection once again and I found myself speechless at the sight of his crimson eyes. The look he held was not one of hunger, but sadness.

Stepping closer to him felt like an outnumbered occasion in which each foot was weighted down. No fear was present within me the moment my hand touched his cool face. "I love you Jake." His eyes closed immediately as small trickles of tears began to fall from him. I knew in this moment it was another illusion my mind had made up. Even on this day, I was punishing myself with something that could never be.

I let my hand fall from his beautiful face and it took all the effort within me to turn away from him, to leave behind the vision that I would never receive again. Though my mind had created the perfect harmony with this one, he was still only a simple figment of the imagination that I would never attain.

One slow turn was all it took to see Edward's golden eyes staring at me with so much pain. While my mind was confused by the gesture, it was even more startling to see that his eyes, that I had been so sure were set on me, were fixated to something behind me. The look of pain vanished as anger filled his aura.

Faster than I had ever seen, his body flashed past me and I could hear a familiar crushing sound. Turning around was not something I should have done; but deep down, it was exactly what I needed. Screams like nothing of this earth were thrown forth from my mouth as I witnessed my perfect vision of my Jacob, leaning over on the ground; small droplets of blood slipping from his soundless body.

The moment was gone and my mind became its own again; realizing that this was no dream. It wasn't possible to envision such a horror as this.

Just as a time before, my legs carried me over to him as my mind stayed in a state of both shock and confusion. I kneeled down to him, both of my hands cupping his face. "Jacob" was all I could speak before his cool lips were on mine. It was a soft and passionate kiss that left my heart skipping too many beats.

"He is dangerous Bella. Get away from him."

I ignored Edward's pleading; nothing could keep me away from the one person in the world I wanted. My eyes only held onto the beautiful man in front of me. "How?" It was the only word I could form and though he tried his best to smile, it was clear that something truly tortured him.

"The wolf protected me…for the most part." Nothing more was said from him when his crimson eyes were washed in black. "Did you mean it?" His hand was brushing the hair out of my face; trying to occupy his time for when I answered.

"Yes." And instantly the smile that shown on his face was the brightest I had ever seen it. "I love you Jake. I'm _in_ love with you." It was only for a second, but a flash of that familiar golden brown came across his eyes and I knew that the wolf was still within him…somewhere.

"I have always loved you Bella." Another simple kiss was placed on my lips before I realized the audience we had gained…thankful that Charlie was not among them.

"Oh look, the half-breed's back." Emmett had no idea of how one sentence would cause such a reaction. Jake immediately tensed as he held onto me tighter.

"You lied. ALL of you lied!" He was angry and as my mind began to piece together the events of the past, leading up to this present, I recognized one thing…they knew.

My head spun around to Edward first. "The entire time? You knew all along he was alive?" I gave him no time to answer; I did not need it when his face spoke volumes of the truth that had been hidden away from me. My gaze drifted over to the rest of the Cullen family. "How could you all do this to me?"

Alice was the first to step forward. "It was what was best for you Bella." This was something that the Cullen's had always set forth as rules in their own minds; they assumed they knew exactly what was best for me. Edward thought he knew what was best when he left me alone in the middle of a forest, wasting away. The rest of the family thought it best to leave along with him; at his own request. I turned to look at Jacob, my Jacob; who had been through so much. I could not fathom that the man I loved so much would keep this from me.

"Why Jake? Please tell me why?" The tears that only made threats earlier, fell through on a promise. He kissed me softly on the forehead, shaking a little as he did.

"I didn't want this Bella. I went to the Cullen's for help. They told me to stay away; that I had no control." His anger was showing, and the Cullen's all began to move closer. "Don't!" His yelling startled me, but I hoped that they would listen to him. I needed to know why this was done; why so much was kept from me. They all stopped immediately at his warning.

"They told me not to come back because I would hurt you. I believed them Bella." He looked away at Edward. "But it was all a lie…a lie that _he_ planned."It was too much to understand what lie could have been told to control the savage months of this past year.

Edward's eyes shifted black. "Is it also a lie that Bella is your _singer_?" Nothing held back the gasp that floated from by body; shocking me into the search of Jacob's eyes for the truth. With his head held low, I knew the answer, but my fear was still not present. Though it may be true that I was his singer, the control he had around me far surpassed anything I had ever heard of. More tangles were placed in this web of confusion.

"Jake?" The moment he lifted his head to look at me, all my questions were answered. Everything was coming together for finality and I was the puppet that was strung along. "They all did this. They kept this secret in order to keep me." He never spoke a single word in effects to my realization; only leaned his forehead against mine.

"I'm so sorry Bells. If I had known…I would've come…I would've told you." His resolve was breaking again and I never wanted to hear such sorrow and agony from someone so faultless. My arms stretched around his body, holding on to him tightly; his wounds had healed and he was whole once more.

Maneuvering my way around it, I slid the ring off my finger and threw it across the ground towards Edward. The look I gave him was filled with more than just anger, it was pity; pity towards a man that thought deceit was a better way to win my heart. "I'll never forgive any of you for this."

It was never that I feared becoming a vampire; if it allowed me more time with the one I loved, I would do it…no hesitation. My problematic theories gave way to the fact that lying to get me to become one was never a conceivable notion.

"Please Jake, let's just go away…anywhere. I don't care. I just can't be here." He didn't need to be told twice; seconds passed and he already had me in his arms, running swiftly through the forest…

* * *

><p>His arms wrapped around me; holding me tightly. Here, in my bedroom, we were safely tucked away from the outside world. Charlie's marriage to Sue left this house a vacant proposition; somewhere to be held with memories of a fresh start. My fingers played their way down his unclothed body, stopping for only a moment, before continuing a whirling path upwards to his breathtaking face.<p>

"I love you Jake…always." His fingers brushed lightly over my own bare skin, causing decadent chills to run through me. Muscular arms were splayed on both sides of me as he leaned down to kiss me softly; agile hands roaming over every inch of my naked body as he moved within me.

"I love you too Bells…always." Those gentle lips encased mine once again, following suit with a trail of soft kisses down my jaw and across my neck. His eyes returned to mine, searching for hesitation…but he would not find it.

"Are you sure?" Was all he asked and a smile was how I answered. Those beckoning lips hovered closer to my ear, whispering gentle mementos along the way.

"Mine" The last fleeting word he spoke as he gave one final thrust within me; sinking his teeth into my flesh.

I felt no pain…nothing but the warmth that filled my very core. Jake had given me everything I had ever wanted and more. There were no lies between us; being together was always simple…'_as easy as breathing_' he once said and it was true. He was the very air that I needed to breathe and he made sure to give me a never-ending supply.

The moment I felt his teeth pierce my skin, I knew I was marked for the rest of my life. He had given me an eternity to spend with him…as his singer…and his imprint.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:  
><strong>

**The sequel is up! It's called "Leaving Our Trails". I hope you enjoy!  
><strong>


End file.
